Through It All
by Fallen Heart
Summary: Sequel to Reassurance. When everything falls apart around you, you come to need a friend more than ever before... RC


Dedicated to my friend **Ellinor**. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. You can make me laugh even in the worst times, and I'm very happy that we crossed paths. I love you sweetie!

Special thanks to Miel (**Season4.5**) for looking this over for me!

**Set**: Missing Scene in 6.20

**Summary**: When everything falls apart around you, you come to need a friend more than ever before.

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There was only one way to describe how he was feeling at that exact moment of his life; cold and pathetic. His best friend was lying in a hospital bed, and all he and Finn did was joke around about it. Sure, it was harmless but still cruel. It wasn't like he didn't care about Logan, because he did. He just wasn't use to these types of situations, that's all. Finn wasn't much better at it thankfully; otherwise he'd feel even more pathetic. He could understand why Rory had acted the way she did. Come on, who wouldn't? The person you love is lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life, while his supposed best friends are acting like nothing is out of the ordinary. Oh yes, he'd be pissed off too.

Still, he knew why he acted the way he did. It wasn't that he didn't care about Logan's well being. No, it was actually more like the opposite. He did care about his best friend; he just didn't really know the way to show it. Because truth was, until Logan had befriended him, he had been pretty much on his own. It wasn't that he didn't like the loneliness, but he preferred having people around him most of the time.

Suddenly, in the middle of his thoughts, he could make out the form of one Rory Gilmore further down in the corridor. He wasn't sure if he should apologize or not to. Truth was, he never ever apologized, so why should he start now? He may not be very proud of his actions tonight, but he couldn't very well take them back, could he?

"Rory,"

Rory looked up and met his eyes briefly, before turning her head downwards again, obviously not his friend at that exact moment. Not that he could really blame her. He could actually admit that he deserved this kind of treatment from her. It wasn't as if she was cruel in any way, just indifferent – like she didn't care if he was around or not.

"Come on Rory, look at me." Colin tried, without any type of reaction coming from her. "Fine, I'm sorry okay? Is that better?"

His apology suddenly made a reaction on her face, as it lit up a bit; it didn't look just as hopeless as it had a second before. But she still didn't respond, which nerved him. He disliked awkward silences. No, he more than disliked them. He hated them with a passion.

"I know I may not be your best friend right now, but could you please give me some kind of response here?" Colin said with an annoyed voice.

"What do you want me to say Colin?" Her short reply was so filled with questions, yet so down to point as well. It was easily shown that she was confused and nervous. Like nothing he would say could repair the damage he had caused, but he'd be damned if he didn't at least _try_ to fix this.

"I don't know. Anything really. Just talk to me," Colin responded, before he decided to sit down at one of the chairs next to her. He knew that she needed somebody to talk to, it was quite obvious really. But he didn't know how to ask her about it. Who was he to ask such questions anyway? He was only the best friend of her boyfriend. Not exactly the person most girls would turn to for comfort, and he knew it.

"I'm scared, okay? That's the truth. I'm scared that if I close my eyes for just a small second, he'll be gone. He'll slip away, and I can't… I won't accept that." Rory cried out, full of so many mixed up emotions inside of her. "I love him Colin. I can't lose him. I just can't…,"

It hurt him to know how much this situation was affecting her. His friendly feelings towards Logan couldn't even begin to compare to her strong ones filled of deep love. For the first time in his life, he didn't know what to say. He'd say anything if it would make the pain she was experiencing to become easier for her. But he couldn't, since he didn't know more than she did. He couldn't tell her that Logan would be alright, because he honestly didn't know if he would be. A thought that scared the crap out of him.

"Don't lose all hope yet, okay?"

"I won't give up hope until somebody tells me otherwise, I promise. I just need somebody to tell me that he'll be okay,"

"You know I can't tell you that," Colin sighed, focusing his sight at the white painted wall opposite of him. He hated this. This waiting. He didn't want to wait for Christ's sake. He wanted to know what was going on, almost as much as Rory did. It wasn't nice to just sit around, waiting for some kind of response from the hospital staff.

"I know you can't. And I'm not asking you to," Rory whispered quietly, while Colin tried to figure out if she was honest or not. Didn't she want him to reassure her? Because last time he checked, that tended to be his assigned job when he was around her. Not that he really minded that she counted on him like that. He was her friend. Of course at times, he couldn't help but think of how things could have progressed if Rory had met him first. If she hadn't fallen for Logan. If Logan wasn't the one she loved so much. If that person instead had been him.

He couldn't help but question his own actions towards her at times. He didn't want his compassion for her right now to grow and become more than that. It wasn't his place to be her shoulder to cry on, nor the one to make her happy. His best friend was, and he'd probably always be. They _loved_ each other. Colin knew that Logan wouldn't give up on Rory easily. She was _his_ girlfriend.

"Rory, I want to ask you something, okay?"

"What?"

"Is it true that you avoided Logan after we talked that night?" Colin asked the question that had been on his mind constantly since he met Logan for the Life and Death Brigade's advent. Logan hadn't been himself, and Colin noticed how miserable he looked. He had only been like that once before; when he and Rory were broken up for the first time.

Rory tried to look at everything but him, apparently with something on her mind. Something she didn't want to tell him. Maybe even something she felt quilty about.

"I don't know why I did it. I just… I couldn't talk to him, Colin. I was still so hurt and confused. And now I realize that I may have made the biggest mistake of my life by letting him think I don't trust him," Rory confessed, her eyes filling up of tears. "When truth is, there isn't a person I trust more in the world. I hate that I made him doubt my love for him. I hate that he is lying in that hospital bed without knowing how much he means to me."

"He knows Rory. He knows, trust me." Colin awkwardly put his hand on her shoulder, just to let her know that he was there. He'd _always_ be there for her. It was like he needed to protect her from the world. Come to think of it, she was the first person he ever felt that way about. He had known from the first time he saw her that she was different. Way different than any other woman he'd ever met. Of course, that's what every guy would say. He knew that it was exactly how Logan had felt about her from the start. And who wouldn't feel that way? Rory Gilmore was one of a kind.

"Thanks Colin," She brushed away a fallen tear from her cheek. "You're really great, you know that?"

A smile was slowly building across her face, and he was really happy that he was the one to bring it out of her. He really hated seeing her cry. Somehow, it didn't suit her, as weird as it sounded. She was one of those people who you want to see happy at all times, no matter the situation. Especially in a situation like they were currently in. Most girls would have broken down completely by now, while she hadn't. But then again, she wasn't like most girls, was she?

"I'm your friend. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know that. You have a hard time showing it at times though," Rory stated truthfully, and he agreed with her for once. He did have a really hard time showing his affections most of the time. Actually, he never knew why he found such a problem with it. He just did.

"Well, I may not be the most caring guy in the world, but I care about the people who matter anything to me," Colin said after a while, wanting her to know the truth. Yet he didn't want to give away too much at the same time. There were just some things he didn't feel comfortable enough to tell just anybody. And he didn't know Rory well enough to let her in. Besides, she was _still_ his best friend's girlfriend. Something he felt the need to remind himself of every five seconds.

"I understand," Rory nodded her head in understandment. "I may not like you much when you're being an ass towards my friends, but I understand why you act the way you do."

"You do?" Colin was shocked to hear her say that. Not that he believed that she understood him _that_ well, but it's always interesting to hear others theories.

"Of course. You're afraid to let others in, because that might mean that you could get hurt, and you don't want that to happen. So you keep everybody at distance instead," Rory whispered, while he was trying to take it all in. Did she actually understand him that well? Impossible. He could almost not even believe what he was hearing. The keyword was "almost", as he knew that he shouldn't be that surprised. This was the all knowing Lorelai Leigh Gilmore after all.

"You seem to think you know me so well now?" The sarcastic tone wasn't meant to sound as nasty as it came out, but it was annoying to realize that he wasn't as good at pretending as he always thought. He always believed that he did a good job at it. Actually he was really good at keeping things to himself. So how could Rory possibly understand this much? Truth was, he never once really opened up to her or anything. He never felt the need to do that, with _anyone_. Pity wasn't something he liked much. He was comfortable with himself, being the guy he was. Jerk or not, it was _him_.

"I'm sorry Colin. I really didn't mean to sound like I was prying. I'm not. It's not any of my business," Rory stumbled upon her words, apparently fearing that she had gone too far. She might have. But it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. It might be because she had the ability to hit a nerve. She was right. He didn't like letting others in. That's why he didn't have many close friends, but many casual ones.

"No, it's fine. I overreacted a bit." To be sure of her reaction, he forced himself to look into her blue eyes. Those sparkling ones that he'd look into for the longest time, if the option was even there. But it wasn't. And it never would be either.

"I guess a person does that in a situation like this."

"Probably," Colin agreed with her truthfully, hoping to never be in this position again. "But we have only been honest, haven't we?"

"Yes, I never lied. Actually, I'm starting to think that I could never lie to you even if I tried my hardest to." Rory chuckled, and he soon joined in. Their friendship seemed to be based on such bare routes yet so weirdly strong at the same time. Not many got him the way she always seemed to. He could definitely feel a strong connection to her – a _very_ strong one.

And somehow he knew that no matter the outcome, they'd find a way to be there for each other through the most difficult times. Because that's what friends did for one another. Yet, in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wish that they'd _someday_ would become more than that…

**To be continued…**


End file.
